


What more is there for men like us

by sunmachine



Category: Temeraire - Naomi Novik
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-06
Updated: 2013-08-06
Packaged: 2017-12-22 15:16:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/914757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunmachine/pseuds/sunmachine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't very late as such yet, but bordering on it. They'd both have to get up like normal and be ready for patrols the next morning. But still, here Granby was, sitting in Captain Little's room, with Little, playing cards and drinking rum.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What more is there for men like us

**Author's Note:**

> Written before reading Blood of Tyrants, contains spoilers for Crucible of Gold and all the previous novels.

The life in the Dover covert had become almost ordinary after the long months of emptiness with all the dragons in England except Iskierka and the ferals confined to the quarantine grounds. Now, the atmosphere could almost be called festive but for Laurence's treason and the dragons who'd died before the cure could reach them. Granby couldn't help feeling a bit lonely with Laurence locked up God knows where and Temeraire in the breeding grounds; the two of them had become a significant part of his life in the past two years. Granby could understand why they'd done it, even if he didn't think himself capable of the same.

 

It wasn't very late as such yet, but bordering on it. They'd both have to get up like normal and be ready for patrols the next morning. But still, here Granby was, sitting in Captain Little's room, with Little, playing cards and drinking rum. This was the second night in row they'd done this; sat together quietly relaxing and occasionally sharing some story. Just two Captains, enjoying each other's company after a long day of hard work. It wasn't as though Granby hadn't thought about something more, though. Little was certainly attractive enough to interest him, and behind the quiet exterior had proved to be excellent company.

 

The problem with more or less illegal relations was making certain the other party was also exhibiting interest and not just being nice and polite. On Little's case, this was not easily done, since the other man was an observer by nature, not so inclined to show every feeling. But, the atmosphere did feel pretty loaded. At least, Granby thought, he could always lay blame on the rum if he turned out to be wrong. And besides, Little was not the sort of man to deliberately make trouble for his fellows, however ridiculously they acted. So everything would probably turn out okay, even if a little awkward.

 

Having made his decision, Granby looked up from his cards and smiled broadly. Little chuckled, probably at Granby's sudden change of mood from brooding over Iskierka's rash behaviour to enthusiastic smiling. Realising the contrast between the last thing he'd said, complaint over a coat Iskierka had forced on him, and the new grin, Granby gave a short laugh, looking down again. Now, how to go about this.

 

“It's getting pretty late.”

 

Little didn't change his expression of quiet amusement, but only shrugged and definitely made no attempt to get up. “I suppose so.”

 

“I'll go if you want me to.” He didn't quite dare say that he'd _stay_ if Little would want him to.

 

“No need,” Little said, with his blue eyes gleaming very bright in the candle light.

 

Obviously, Little would not initiate anything. He seemed like too cautious a man for that. Granby, on the other hand, was tired of being cautious. He got up from his chair, crossed the distance between them on one long stride, cupped his hands around Little's face and kissed him. Having clearly anticipated this, Little responded quite enthusiastically and pulled Granby closer.

 

Oh, this would work out just great.

 

* * *

 

 

If Granby was little drunk no one could blame him. He was a failure in every way possible. A captain not able to control his dragon was not someone who could have any aviator's respect, and his responsibility hang on him heavy since Iskierka was a dragon of such high worth, for both the enormous price paid for her and her fire breathing abilities. Besides, being kidnapped by your own dragon to go to the other side of the world seemed especially incompetent.

 

So now there he was, with a bottle of rum, in his small and crowded cabin that had just been cleared and separated for him aboard the Allegiance. He couldn't really handle being around Iskierka right now, with her so smug over the successful flight to the ship. Laurence had been far too understanding, when he deserved none of it, so Granby had descended below decks as soon as he could.

 

It didn't help that they had left so suddenly, with no time for goodbyes or explanations. Not that there was much to explain to anyone. All aviators knew how impossible it was to try to get a heavyweight fire breathing dragon to not do something they had set their minds on doing. At the very least he would have liked to talk to Little before going. He could, and most likely would, write a letter to be send back from Gibraltar, but it would be most inadequate and only skirt around everything.

 

Still, it was not like he would have known what to say. In all honesty, he could not ask Little to wait for him. But telling him that he didn't have to wait would be even worse somehow. That would sound like he thought that they were something... well something more than two captains who more or less frequently found themselves in each other's beds. They had never discussed this thing they had, and up to this point Granby had felt no real need to do so. Of course, there had always been that small voice in the back of his mind, saying that this could not last. But he had thought he would have had a bit longer warning; even orders of immediate relocation would leave enough time for a quick talk.

 

He thought, perhaps quite irrationally, that if he could have just said goodbye to Little face to face, some sort of understanding would have carried across, and reflected back from Little's blue eyes. It was too late for that now, however. There was nothing to do, nothing but watch the Allegiance sail onward to New South Wales.

 

* * *

 

 

The conversation on its own had been bad enough, but when Iskierka mentioned Little, Granby was ready to sink in to the ground out of a mixture of guilt, shame and desperation. Of course, Laurence would take it nearly without a blink, and probably never admit to even knowing anything about the whole thing.

 

The problem was, Laurence would assume things. And those things would not be accurate at all. Laurence had not yet quite grasped, Granby feared, the intricacies of the relations aviators often had with each other. Dragons would, of course, always come first, but even after that there were a number of obstacles for the kind of stable or normal relationship Granby was afraid Laurence might assume him and Little to be in. It was nothing of the sort, and could never be, mostly because of reasons unrelated to the illegal nature of the affair.

 

They were just. Granby paused with this thought. He had no idea what they were, of even if they were anything anymore. It had been two years already since he had left England so suddenly, and he could not grudge Little had he found someone else to share his bed in the meantime. And this exactly was the issue with forming any actual attachments to people in the Corps. You could be send halfway across the world and not be able to see each other for years. And paired with the danger of their work, a long absence would be unbearable. Maybe if they'd been assigned to the same formation, it could work out, but even then only maybe.

 

They had, of course, exchanged some letters, but those had been of the general sort filled with common pleasantries. Nothing that could indicate their relationship with each other had been anything other than that of two acquaintances who had taken up correspondence out of courtesy. And maybe that actually was all that there was to it, maybe that was all that was possible for them. Even if Granby would manage to avoid the marriage to the Sapa Inca and somehow get back home to England in more or less one piece, what more could he even in the best case expect from Little than the occasional fumble when the both of them happened to be stationed at the same place. It would not be very sensible for either of them to harbour any stronger feelings for the other.

 

At the moment, though, it wasn't looking very likely that Granby would actually ever get back to England, not to even mention seeing Little again. So all this speculation was quite useless. Maybe it was not yet too late to try to convince Hammond that this whole marriage thing was a bad idea.

 

* * *

 

 

It was perhaps the cause of the lingering shock from the loss of the arm, but Granby didn't fully understand that the whole of Lily's formation had appeared at their midst until Little sat next to him at the table. It wasn't that his heart skipped a beat, no, but close. That didn't hopefully show on his face though. He was aware of Laurence watching, or to be more accurate, very pointedly not watching. Maybe if he looked, Laurence would see that it was nothing, that there was really nothing between Granby and Little. Nothing more than the friendship nearly any two aviators would share.

 

At least Little wasn't avoiding him.

 

He hadn't really missed Little as such, Granby told himself, but more what Little represented. Companionship, someone he could confide in and, well, sex. These past two years on his own hadn't been too bad, and he certainly could go on like this for much longer. He didn't need anyone, and certainly not Little, specifically. To think like that would be foolish to the extreme. He couldn't afford to need anyone, except maybe Iskierka; an aviator's life was much too uncertain for that.

 

As the evening wore on, the others slipped off one by one, in the end leaving only Granby and Little. They might have been sitting a tiny bit closer to each other than necessary with the table otherwise empty, but Granby couldn't make himself care very much. He had forgotten how it felt to be close to someone like this, with the anticipation hovering around them.

 

They didn't talk much walking back to their sleeping quarters, for what was there to say. Nothing between them had really changed since they'd last met. After closing the door of his room Granby soon found other work for his mouth. And if he clutched Little more forcefully than usual, he was sure it was just because it had been a long time since he'd been with anyone.


End file.
